It's that time of year again - the season of sniffles, sneezes, and sore throats. While most people are busy trying to stay healthy, there's a special breed of individuals who seem to have a knack for finding creative ways to get sick. If you're one of those people who just can't resist the allure of a good old-fashioned illness, then this blog post is for you.
1. Lick a Doorknob
What better way to start your journey to sickness than by licking a doorknob? After all, who knows what kind of germs and bacteria are lurking on that surface, just waiting to be transferred to your unsuspecting tongue. Bonus points if you can find a doorknob that's been recently touched by someone with a nasty cold.
2. Stick Your Head in the Toilet
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not stick your head in the toilet? Not only will you get a whiff of some truly unpleasant odors, but you'll also be exposing your nasal passages to a whole host of potential pathogens. Just be sure to hold your breath - you don't want to accidentally inhale any of that lovely toilet water.
3. Eat Expired Food
Who needs a fancy dinner when you can feast on a delightful array of expired and spoiled foods? From moldy bread to rancid meat, the possibilities are endless. Just be sure to save room for dessert - a nice big slice of mold-covered cake should do the trick.
4. Lick the Subway Pole
If you're a city dweller, you're probably all too familiar with the joys of public transportation. And what better way to celebrate this experience than by licking the nearest subway pole? Not only will you be exposing yourself to a veritable smorgasbord of germs, but you'll also get to enjoy the unique flavor of rust and grime.
5. Swap Spit with a Sick Friend
Ah, the age-old tradition of swapping spit with a friend. But why stop there? Why not take it a step further and swap spit with a friend who's already sick? That way, you can be sure to get the full spectrum of illnesses, from the common cold to the flu and everything in between.
6. Bathe in a Public Fountain
Nothing says "I'm trying to get sick" quite like bathing in a public fountain. Not only will you be exposing yourself to all sorts of bacteria and viruses, but you'll also get to enjoy the refreshing sensation of chlorinated water in your eyes and ears.
7. Lick the Handrail on an Escalator
If you're feeling particularly daring, why not try licking the handrail on an escalator? After all, how many people have touched that thing before you? The possibilities for illness are endless!
8. Eat a Spoonful of Dirt
Ah, the great outdoors - a veritable treasure trove of germs and bacteria, just waiting to be consumed. Why not start your day with a nice, heaping spoonful of dirt? It's a surefire way to get your immune system working overtime.
9. Stick Your Finger in a Stranger's Mouth
If you're feeling particularly social, why not try sticking your finger in a stranger's mouth? After all, what better way to make new friends than by exchanging a little bit of saliva? Just be sure to wash your hands afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.
10. Lick the Bottom of Your Shoe
Who needs fancy shoes when you can just lick the bottom of your own? After all, think of all the germs and bacteria that have accumulated on the soles of your shoes over the course of the day. It's a veritable smorgasbord of potential illnesses, just waiting to be consumed.
11. Stick Your Head in a Dumpster
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not stick your head in a dumpster? After all, what better way to get a whiff of some truly unpleasant odors than by immersing yourself in a sea of rotting garbage? Just be sure to hold your breath - you don't want to accidentally inhale any of that lovely dumpster air.
12. Lick a Toilet Seat
Ah, the humble toilet seat - a veritable breeding ground for all sorts of nasty germs and bacteria. Why not take a moment to give it a nice, long lick? It's a surefire way to get your immune system working overtime.
13. Stick Your Hand in a Beehive
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not try sticking your hand in a beehive? After all, what better way to get stung by a bunch of angry bees than by poking around in their home? Just be sure to wear a hazmat suit - you don't want to risk getting any bee venom in your eyes.
14. Lick a Subway Rat
If you're feeling particularly daring, why not try licking a subway rat? After all, what better way to get a taste of the city's unique flavor than by sampling the local wildlife? Just be sure to wash your hands afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.
15. Stick Your Head in a Microwave
If you're feeling particularly tech-savvy, why not try sticking your head in a microwave? After all, what better way to get a nice, even tan than by exposing yourself to a little bit of radiation? Just be sure to set the timer for at least 10 minutes - you don't want to risk undercooking yourself.
16. Lick a Doorknob at the Hospital
If you're feeling particularly ambitious, why not try licking a doorknob at the hospital? After all, what better way to get a taste of the latest and greatest in medical technology than by sampling the germs and bacteria that lurk in the hallways of your local healthcare facility?
17. Stick Your Hand in a Piranha Tank
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not try sticking your hand in a piranha tank? After all, what better way to get a taste of the great outdoors than by sampling the local wildlife? Just be sure to wear a thick pair of gloves - you don't want to risk losing any fingers.
18. Lick a Subway Seat
If you're feeling particularly daring, why not try licking a subway seat? After all, what better way to get a taste of the city's unique flavor than by sampling the local upholstery? Just be sure to wash your tongue afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.
19. Stick Your Head in a Beehive
If you're feeling particularly ambitious, why not try sticking your head in a beehive? After all, what better way to get a taste of the great outdoors than by sampling the local wildlife? Just be sure to wear a hazmat suit - you don't want to risk getting stung by a bunch of angry bees.
20. Lick a Doorknob at the DMV
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not try licking a doorknob at the DMV? After all, what better way to get a taste of the government's unique flavor than by sampling the local bureaucracy? Just be sure to wash your tongue afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.
21. Stick Your Hand in a Piranha Tank at the Zoo
If you're feeling particularly daring, why not try sticking your hand in a piranha tank at the zoo? After all, what better way to get a taste of the great outdoors than by sampling the local wildlife? Just be sure to wear a thick pair of gloves - you don't want to risk losing any fingers.
22. Lick a Doorknob at the Airport
If you're feeling particularly ambitious, why not try licking a doorknob at the airport? After all, what better way to get a taste of the world's unique flavors than by sampling the local germs and bacteria? Just be sure to wash your tongue afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.
23. Stick Your Head in a Dumpster at the Landfill
If you're feeling particularly adventurous, why not try sticking your head in a dumpster at the landfill? After all, what better way to get a whiff of the great outdoors than by sampling the local garbage? Just be sure to hold your breath - you don't want to accidentally inhale any of that lovely landfill air.
24. Lick a Doorknob at the Hospital Emergency Room
If you're feeling particularly daring, why not try licking a doorknob at the hospital emergency room? After all, what better way to get a taste of the latest and greatest in medical technology than by sampling the germs and bacteria that lurk in the hallways of your local healthcare facility?
25. Stick Your Hand in a Piranha Tank at the Aquarium
If you're feeling particularly ambitious, why not try sticking your hand in a piranha tank at the aquarium? After all, what better way to get a taste of the great outdoors than by sampling the local wildlife? Just be sure to wear a thick pair of gloves - you don't want to risk losing any fingers.
So there you have it - 25 more very bad ideas to get sick. Whether you're looking to catch a cold, the flu, or something even more exotic, these suggestions are sure to get your immune system working overtime. Just be sure to wash your hands afterwards - you don't want to risk catching anything too serious.